“You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself.” Galileo
Personal development and life coaching is a professional relationship dedicated to serve your long term development.
It is conducted in a private environment to maximize trusts, insights and clarity.
And after each session you will know what you need to do to move that much closer to where you want to be in alignment with your core values.
Maybe you don’t understand why you feel the way you are feeling in spite of doing everything right.
So you play the game of life eventhough you don’t see the point. You can’t be satisfied no matter how hard you try…
Perhaps you are even diagnosed with one of them modern ‘mental illnesses’, destined to live a life of dependence on synthetic endocrine disruptors and all its side effects.
But what can you do now? Where do you want to put your life energy?
When you have that sneaking suspicion that you are not doing what this gift is for, then underneath it all you are going to have unease, disquiet, and a yearning that pushes you all the time to find what is it that you are here to do?
“We can guide people to healing if we ask the right questions.” Dr. Gabor Maté
This existential dissonance is too painful. Therefore you take alcohol, and maybe some drugs to make the pain go away.
So we up the doses. Hence the cycle repeats itself while spiraling downward until you have little control over whatever chosen substances/habits that substituted the real (unmet) need.
As a substitute in return they deplete your finite energy and precious time (aka life force).
Can those rewards fill that inner emptiness? They are merely a coping mechanism, much like any addictions: they provide temporary pain relief.
The question is: why the pain? And where does it come from?
If the conditions caused you to be miserable; is there something wrong with you, or the conditions?
Let’s presupposed for a moment: that a society as it is trained us to seek social acceptance and you’re not achieving success as has been defined for you, then you are by its definition a ‘failure’, which attached to our self-esteem.
Even if you know what you are doing is important and meaningful, it is still hard to escape the scrutiny of the society constantly imposing its expectations on us.
“Oh you are 28, and you are still single?” “How much money do you make in a year again?” “Do you have many followers on your social?” “Oh she’s a doctor, just not the kind that save lives.”
“He has a husband? Wow…” “I bet she can’t fit into those jeans” “Did you go to university?” “What are you even good at?” “Oh I wish I have more free time like you…”
“We don’t need more people like you in our country!” “Your mother already had 2 children when she was your age”
So what you do? Compliance for social approval, or rebel and live with the dis-ease within?
Is that bad? It depends on participate in ‘what’?
Conventional mental health care system is there to help you to become a functional member of the society as it is, and if society as it is needs to change; as a result then the mental health care system isn’t going to align with what caused your ‘dis-ease’ in the first place.
On the contrary, it is in its interest to keep you there.
Certainly on one level, if you are just a cog in a machine, replaceable by somebody else; you’re going to feel not needed.
What if you just don’t see any meanings in participation?
Maybe you feel a deep wrongness with the way the system functions right now.
It could be that you feel cheated as you’ve achieved success by societal standard yet you still feel empty, unhappy and lost? Perhaps your heart knows something your head doesn’t.
In which case then: withholding serotonin is your soul’s silent rebellion against that very misalignment..
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” says Rainer Maria Rilke
For reasons beyond your control, you find yourself not feeling needed or useful.
What is your unmet need? Or out of alignment? What needs healing?
I am not your guru, I don’t have all the answers.
But I know that you have within you the answers. You knew it all along. And they are not the default quick-fixes.
The quick-fixes that fit comfortably into your existing worldview validate your current mindset and methods which are themselves a part of the problem. Because they missed the deeper truth.
Sometimes it is necessary to step back with humility to spend time observing and focusing on your body-mind, in order to ask the right questions.
It is going to be a process, but you deserve to be your best self NOW.
And as your life coach, I will meet you where you are and be with you every step of the way.
Let’s get some answers. Find and meet your real needs. Address misalignment to your core values. And bring healings to to traumas.
“We can think of development as an ongoing process of transcending our identities, and including them in a new and more expansive way of being in the world.” – Doug Silsbee
The sessions will take place either in person or via a virtual meeting space such as FaceTime, Skype or Zoom.
Every session is a unique co-creating experience that can never be reproduced or recreated.
While it follows a half structure, in practice the direction we go depends on what serves you and what you need in this present moment. That is to say it always evolves with you.
In the sessions we cultivate a coaching relationship that is open and safe; where you can be seen, understood and heard.
1. We begin by managing ourselves, calming down and detaching from anything that distract us to bring ourselves fully into this space.
2. Next we work side-by-side to both distill down and clarify your goals.
3. Thus we let the coaching process unfold spontaneously to bring awareness and new perspective.
4. Next as equals we plan and strategize realistic, attainable and measurable actions to set you up for success.
5. Finally, we can identify what supports you need to follow through with the actions.
Additionally in between sessions, if so desired, I can be your additional support to keep you honest.
I am not your guru and do not desire to be. I am there to support and to walk with you.
When appropriate, and with permission, my expertise and experience could also be available to you.
Ultimately, we partner to find what you need to feel your best, and live a life true to your values; full of vitality and meanings.
I am here to support you to be the best version of yourself.
"The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words." Rachel Naomi Remen
The session may be that safe space you've always craved but are largely deprived of.
A space we co-create in full dedication to you being seen and heard as the whole person that you are.
Confidentiality and trust are non-negotiable. Where there is nothing to prove and no room for judgement.
We leave pre-conceived notions and real-time sense making at the door to enter into this space called Presence.
It becomes a context for us to deeply realize the impermanence and timelessness of time and space.
And you play, experiment, enquire, explore and just be.
